Man is born without arms,
man wants arms,
man trudges though hell and back to find a doctor or prophet who can deliver.
man finds this person, the miracle is delivered, and credits roll after man dangles from monkey bars with goofy grin.
Every single bit is somehow essential to the story. There is hardly a single blurb about the slow development of character in between.
And yet, at least for me, those in between times, the mundane times, seem to be the very fabric of life. Most of the time I'm swimming in the stuff. Could it be that story is the most frustrating source of inspiration for the in-between times? The Bible, the quintessential epic of them all, is the most frustrating. It is a book of giants, talking donkeys, angels etc. God is always interacting directly with its characters. People literally fall over in fear due to the degree in which God is impacting them. The bible doesn't contain plot change, it is plot change. By definition.
One part of me is kind of embarrassed that I am just now realizing this. I feel like I was left out of the loop. The great biblical stories were so commonplace growing up that until yesterday I just assumed that's how adulthood would go for me (yea ive been a bit frustrated about my lack of plot change). No one ever told me that the bible was a collection of stories about the catalysts driving history, seldom seen rarities, the stuff you yearn for for years, the culminations of epochs.
The other part of me is sort of relieved. I mean, ive spent alot of time doubting my existance because of my lack of perspective. A few months ago I wrote this in my journal.
When a man lives all his life under the impression that he is important, that his story is not just relevant but it simply must unfold, that man gets a little confused when he finds himself living out a story thats been told many times before. What happens if he begins to believe, quite genuinely, that living the life of a domesticated man, perhaps full of decency and good nature, is his lot in life? What if he accepts his fate to live out this "natural" way? Has he given in, or has he taken the road less traveled? Is it at this point that he walks into peace? boredom?
While this excerpt brings up some other questions, one can see I've definitely been struggling with the great difference between the biblical standard of story and my own path.
While this excerpt brings up some other questions, one can see I've definitely been struggling with the great difference between the biblical standard of story and my own path.
The narrative does keep our expectations high. Maybe too high. If I'm honest, the temptation for me becomes about forging a new destiny (which I'm not always opposed to doing either). Often, while sitting at the edge of pivotal character development, when I am most bored with my story, the evil thought hits me. "I know what ill do, I'll just force a plot change right here and now". And before you know it, I'm moving to South America, or I've just spent 500 dollars on camping gear or some other set of tools necessary to reinvent my story once again. And this time around I miss that crucial development step, I fail to become the man I'm meant to be yet again.
At least thats how it went until I got married. At that point my compulsions became less feasible, and the process continued. Except now I replace the action with resenting my wife because it was her realistic approach to life, afterall, that put a stop to my plans. But thats another rabbit trail.
Truly, waiting for the next turn in your story is not effortless.
